Kevin's Mushroom Diaries: 1 Koopa Sabotage
by Potash
Summary: A normal teenage boy, named Kevin, accidentally enters the Koopa Kingdom while playing Super Mario Bros. 3. What Kevin will do to finish his gameturnedlife involves is for the Koopalings to betray each other...My first fanfic! I wrote it all in one day! P
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I'll put it at the last chapter.  
Note: I'm trying to keep this rated (at most) K+. I was thinking of something darker, but I didn't realize it until I wrote halfway through the chapter that I was writing a murder mystery. So, realizing what I have done, and thinking what Mario would say if he did read this, I erased some parts. Maybe this takes away some of the drama, but at least I think that this will be better. Besides, I want light - do you know what I mean?  
Second Note: This is my first fan-fic. Please be considerate!

Chapter 1: How it all got started How it all started

Hi. I'm Kevin.  
I live in New Jersey, not far from Brooklyn, where the famed Mario Brothers used to run their plumbing business. How they got into the Mushroom Kingdom, I have no idea. Don't ask me.  
Anyway, my life, as you probably guessed, is normal. Except for a few things. I excel at math. I even competed in the math test that selects high school students for the International Math Olympiad - the Holy Grail of math students. Sadly, I did not pass, though I did come close. I also am in the school Quiz Bowl team, which came in seventh in the national finals. I also am in the school debate club, which ranks as one of the top in my school. I also am one of the best in my school. My absolute hate to sour foods earned me the name of Potash, short for Potassium Hydroxide, a strong base which neutralizes when it contacts acids. I also have an older, almost homicidal, sister. Please, don't ask me about Jessica. I don't want to recall any bad incidents. None of your business.  
But if you have been listening to me carefully, you will notice one thing. Yup. I was never 1st. I may have been somewhere around good, maybe even stunning or 1st, but no. Never been 1st. Otherwise, I wouldn't even be talking about my life. My life would be talking about itself, in TV, radio, books, etc. But that's why I always wanted to be 1st, especially in knowledge. That's the only thing that I can excel in, and the only thing that I want to excel in. I don't want to be a jock who's only known for body, or some celebrity with a skill for singing or comedy which eventually gets me into scandals that I don't even want to be in. A professor or scientist - yes, that's where I want to be in. I might even become the second Bill Nye.  
But that's enough about me. Now about my normal life.  
I come home from school with my best friend, Sherlock. That's his first name. He's half Dutch and half British, but has an American accent. But you can ask him just about everything, and he will tell you, from international law (which no teenager takes as light reading) or Torpedo Junction during WWII. He will tell you about Albanian history and Brazilian cars, from the history and chemical structure of LSD to unstable carbonic structures, from general relativity and astrobiology to computer languages, from group theory to superstring theory. As you see, he's an even smarter boy than I am. He will tell you how the Dutch could have ruled the world in an alternative universe case. That's why I have him as a friend - we can talk the same scientific language, though even I cannot understand what he is talking about. But since we go so long together, others call me by another nickname: Watson.  
So I asked him a question while I was going home.  
"Sherlock, I have been studying about witchcraft - don't get me wrong. We were reading the Crucible by Arthur Miller (scary play!) in our English class - and it looks like witches used to...use mushrooms"  
"Yeah. You know how some mushrooms are poisonous? Well, some mushrooms aren't poisonous, but still have hallucinogenic effects. Some witches used them to get a sensation of flying - and this is what I found in an old book back in the library - even feeling as if they became a giant or that they just gained an extra life"  
"Really"  
"That's how you get Alice in Wonderland. You know when Alice drinks the potion and she grows bigger"  
"Ah"  
"Yeah."

I arrived home and said goodbye to Sherlock. Unfortunately, the good part of my day ends there. The first person to greet me is my sister, the homicidal mastermind. Somehow, I could never see why she was always angry with me.  
"Give me my money"  
"For what"  
"For that time when I gave you $20 for going to the mall"  
"What mall"  
I never went to any shopping mall - what's the fun there? What's so great about clothes shopping? If I were rich, I would have my own servant to buy them for me.  
"Blackwoods"  
"Why would I go clothes shopping"  
"Just give me my money"  
"You're just here to steal my money, aren't you"  
"Just give me my money"  
"Mom gives you $50 a week for pocket money. Why should I give you another $20"  
"Just give me my money"  
This is the kind of people that I hate. Another brat, liar, idiot (officially defined as a person with an IQ of 25 to 0.  
"Why? Why are you lying"  
"You think I am"  
"That's the problem with you, Jess. I never saw why, but you keep lying about everything. That time, in front of mom, saying that I was running out of the house - "  
"You were! To visit your girlfriend"  
"I don't have any girlfriends! Besides, I wouldn't unless I have my own home because you always keep bugging in! Nobody likes YOU, do you see? And you said that just yesterday. I was only out to take the garbage, as you said. That doesn't even take two minutes"  
"You still were out of the house"  
"Would you like it if you were tricked like that? And got grounded? Punished? Beaten? Whipped? Why are you doing this? Can't you just do this with more rational means? Must you hurt somebody"  
THEN mom comes in. That's what I don't like about mom. She's slow, she's only fair to Jessica, and last of all, she is always stressed because I won't be first (Well, if I weren't being kicked and abused all around, would I change? Absolutely.  
"Kevin, shut up"  
And she goes away.  
Jessica the brat. I should have used that line. Hey, that's an anagram of "JUSTICE BREATHES". Justice breathes, sister. Like me, and unlike you.

After I finish my homework, I realized that my family has gone to a fancy restaurant for dinner. Which leaves me alone. I don't have pets or other siblings, but I do have a rich though perpetually immature, gross, drunk clown as a father. I have no idea how he works in the office as a businessman for his bank at day. I never realized. Never wish to, anyway.

After I ate my own dinner, I went outside, into the garden, and saw the full yellow moon, shining in the cool night sky. I've never seen the stars shine as brightly as this before. I saw them numerous times, but only as tiny, white dots. And some lights in the sky were just airplanes going to La Guardia or JFK airport.  
Almost too bright. Too many stars. Or maybe I just didn't see them the way I did before.

Then, I go back to my room. They won't be here till 11, I know. I check my e-mail (the usual spam), take a shower, brush my teeth, and walk to bed when "Ow"  
I accidentally bang my foot against the drawer. OUCH. That hurt. Luckily, none of my toenails are hurt or broken. Good. No need for bandages.  
But I look at the drawer. Throughout the last few months of my life, with my family constantly being angry or immature at me, I never even noticed the drawer. I never even have thought of it. I looked at it. I open the bottom drawer, which I remember was filled with my favorite toys - Soma Cube, Heart Puzzle, Rubik's Cube, Devil's Puzzle, Professor's Cube (which I never solved, by the way), and my Game Boy Advance. What? I am a boy. You may think that I am a nerd, with all my academic achievements and entertainment, but I do need a break.  
I turn on the Game Boy Advance. Ah, my only game. Super Mario Advance 4: Super Mario Brothers 3. I love the Mario Brothers. They may be plumbers from Brooklyn, but now they are two of the most loved game characters of the world. If not, the most loved game characters. Everyone has heard of Mario.  
The title screen rolls, when it suddenly says 'Battery Low.  
"Oh come on... Just when I need it"  
But I do love a good game, and this was going to be the only time that I was going to play it for a long while. Midterm exams are coming soon, and I do need to study, although I know much of the material by heart.  
So I go to my desk where I keep my batteries, change them, and start the game again.  
But now it read a different message, white on black: 'Initiate Warp Process'  
What? I have never heard of this. Instantly, and without warning, a strange feeling happened. My hands started melting and absorbing into the screen. I panicked. Oh no. Now I can't write! And even worse, it continued with the arms, then my torso and legs. All I had left was my neck and head. I see myself in the mirror across my room, as if my head is perched on this strange handheld device. I want to stop this, but there is no use. Finally, my head sinks into the Game Boy Advance. Strangely enough, I can't feel anything. I sink into a void, down, down, down... 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: First Encounter I closed my eyes. I did not want to see what was going to happen. All of a sudden, I felt the cool air around me, I heard

strange sounds. I opened my eyes. I could see! Well, at least that wasn't too bad.  
But it was a strange place that I found myself in.  
It was no longer my room. Oh no. It was never this gray. In fact, I was in a dark, cold, rocky room. Everywhere I saw, it

was all stone - the floors, the walls, the ceiling.  
"Where am I"  
I seemed to be in some prison cell. From the look of it, probably some medieval place.  
"Hello"  
No answer.  
"Is anybody here"  
Still no answer.  
I said to myself, "No, stop, Kevin! Think. You're in a place where you do not know anything about. What do you do?

Open the lock yourself"  
"Oh yeah"  
Then, I stood up. Luckily, the strange "warping process" did not diminish my strength and stamina. I pushed the door

a bit, and found that it was actually unlocked.  
"See"  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever"  
I liked talking to myself. It was the only consolation I got throughout my life when I was at home.  
"Well, this place isn't home, but at least let's make this place somewhat like home, then, shall we"  
I saw a torch next to be, and almost jumped at the sight of me. Goodness, that stone gargoyle of a dragon's head was

realistic. But then, I corrected my glasses, and saw even closer that in fact it wasn't really a dragon. No, not anything

like I saw before. It had a wider, - chubbier, should I say? - face, and horns. With actual hair. I imagined that if this

gargoyle was colored, the hair would be flaming red. I washed my glasses, thinking that it was still dusty.  
Gee. And I haven't realized all this time that I was, in fact, in my most favourite clothes: my simple, long-sleeved blue

shirt, and beige trousers with the many pockets, all fitted with white socks and sneakers. All right, this does sound

strange, but I am a boy with simple plebian predilections with my clothes, not a queer eye for any straight guy. But if I

was in my pajamas, then how could I have my best clothes on? I wondered. Oh well.  
I grabbed the hot, flaming torch, and started walking down the corridor. It was a bit wet, as I would have expected, but

at least it wasn't too hot. That was good. I didn't want to get hot with long sleeves.  
I went down the corridor and opened another steel-barred door. Then I saw a staircase with light shining on it. Good. I

was about to climb it when - "Mario? Is that you"  
I turned around. It was a woman's voice, definitely young. And I thought I was alone in the cell.  
"Hello? Who just said that"  
"I'm here"  
I looked around again, and saw a blonde, young woman next to the bars.  
"Oh... You're not Mario"  
The woman was strikingly beautiful. With blonde hair like gold, fine skin like the snow, and azure eyes like the sea, she

also had the pretty pink dress and the crown that even sparkled in the dark... Wait, what am I saying?  
I gripped my attention again and spoke.  
"Hello, I'm Kevin. I may not be your... um... friend, but I think I can help you"  
"Really"  
"Really. Why would I lie? Why, I found myself in this cell as well"  
"How? I never saw Bowser pass this way"  
"Bowser"  
What was this, some joke? Bowser is Mario's famed enemy, archrival. Why would some woman in the medieval times

speak about a gaming character in the 20th century? But then again, I did not suspect accidental time travel, and this

woman's dress did not look like any medieval woman. If then, her clothes would not all pink.  
"Well... to tell the truth, I was in my bedroom, and somehow... something just sucked my body into this cell. I tried to

find the exit, but you called - sorry... hwo should I address your highness"  
"Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom"  
"Oh... Sorry, princess"  
Now I realized where I was at. Somehow, by some freak chance, I ended myself in the gaming world. And by some

freak chance, I had to end up at Bower's Castle, stuck here in this damp, dark swamp of a place, with a princess who's

not supposed to be saved by me.  
"Princess Peach! Yes! That's it"  
"What is it"  
"That's where I am! No wonder! That gargoyle must represent Bowser, right"  
"Yes"  
"And this is one of his prisons where he keeps you"  
"Yes"  
"But why here? Doesn't he keep your highness - pardon me - in one of his private rooms? Why did he kidnap you"  
"I believe that this is not the time and place to discuss about this matter"  
"Oh, I'm sorry, your highness..." I did not realize that I suddenly was excited and was speaking loudly. What if anyone

noticed?  
Luckily, it seemed that nobody from upstairs cared.  
"Anyway, I might as well save you, even I am not Mario"  
"How do you know about Mario"  
"Didn't you just say the name"  
"Oh, my mistake." She smiled. Wow, she was pretty... not again, Kevin! Snap out of it!  
"Well, it looks like this door is locked... Oh dear, it is"  
"Can you get me out of this cell"  
"Are there any keys that you know that will open this lock"  
"Yes, but King Bowser keeps them with himself"  
"Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I can't save you right now"  
"It is the thought that matters"  
"Surely"  
"But"  
I searched into my pockets. Luckily, I had my own possessions: my camera, stray paper clip, some real world money,

my iPod shuffle and a copy of "Flatland" by Edwin Abbott Abbott. I did not know how these would help, but they

were just there. I also my own watch with me. It may mean nothing useful now, though, since I am in a game and not

the real world. How do they tell time here anyway?  
"I do have a paper clip"  
"A what"  
"Doesn't matter. But what matters is that I do have a bit of knowledge in my brain about lockpicking"  
I actually did. I pried the paper clip and tried inserting it into the lock. But, being a world where turtle/dragon hybrids

exist and plumbers are heroes, it simply did not work.  
"Oh no, just when I don't need it..." I moaned.  
"Again, it's the thought that counts." Princess Peach comforted me.  
"Yes, it is... So there's only one way of doing this: nick the keys from Bowser, come back here, unlock you, and get you

out of captivity"  
Sounded simple. After all, I did play the game several times. But did it? How would my health work in the game world?

Would I die easily like Mario and Luigi in the game, simply by being contacted by a stray enemy, or would there be

special programming for a person like me?  
"You sound as if you come from Mario's world"  
"Sorry?" I was drifting a bit away.  
"Mario used to talk to me about a city that he used to live in, named Brooklyn"  
"Oh... Maybe I am"  
"Yet you know about me, and Bowser and Mario"  
"Yes... well, it is a very long story, and I don't know if your highness will enjoy the story"  
"I believe that I can cope with it"  
"Really"  
"Really." Hey, she copied my quote.  
"Well, I suppose... I'll be off"  
"Good luck, um"  
I wanted a fancy name. Kevin just didn't sound right in a game of action and adventure. But on the other hand, I did

not know a way back. Was there any? Probably not. If not, then wouldn't have Mario and Luigi simply go back to

Brooklyn after the first game?  
"Call me 'Sir Kevin.'" Yeah. That was a good name. One that I actually wanted to be called.  
"Good luck, then, Sir Kevin"  
So here I was. One minute, I was a goner, a victim of my own life, maybe even a villian. Now, here I was, straight into

the heart of adventure and danger, and saving my own damsel in distress. I never had a girlfriend, and although she

may be young, she's an adult. I can't have her as a girlfriend. But I somewhat felt that I had to save her.  
I turned back, slowly, and went up the stairs. So here I am.  
I looked around. I saw more rocks, of course, but I also saw a larger room, this time with wooden doors, and unless I'm

sure - a koopa troopa?  
So here I was. I would have to use all of my strength, intellect and wit to save my own soul, the Princess's, and Mario's

and Luigi's souls.  
But my dream of chivalrous romance was gone. Suddenly, the koopa saw me. Then it started charging towards me.  
"Uh oh"  
I talked to myself again.  
"Well done, Kevin. Your first encounter with a Koopa Troopa, and already you've blown your cover. What now"  
"Don't panic. I have a way."

Ooh! Cliffhanger... 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Easier Said Than Done The koopa troopa started charging towards me. What was I to do?  
What happened in the game? Simple. Mario or Luigi would jump on the koopa, or throw fireballs at it. Or he would get

a Starman to gain temporary invincibility, or throw hammers it, or... some attack! But what was I to do? I can't jump

high. I can't find a fire flower anyway, or a hammer brother's suit, or a tanooki, or a super leaf, or a frog suit, or even a

goomba's shoe... nothing! Nothing to fight with! My hands started shaking.  
Then, I forgot that I had that torch in my hand. No wonder it felt heavy!  
When the Koopa finally came close, I swung my torch in front of him. The incinerating flame hit the silly turtle, and

with the classic "blop" sound of what happens when a falling plumber makes when stepping on a turtle, reduced him

into a shell.  
"Well, that wasn't so hard, now was it"  
"Quiet. You couldn't even jump"  
That was true. I didn't even jump.  
"Well, let's try it"  
I jumped. Normally, I would expect to leave the ground, at most, two feet. But being a game, I could jump about twice

my height. Oh yeah! Three meters and a half! I could compete in the high-jump area of the Olympics! But no. I was

starting to make a fool of myself.

I wondered which door to really enter - would it have made a difference? So I just decided to enter the first door.  
Luckily, the first door had no koopas, an orange flower with a smiling face, a frog suit, a racoon suit, a starman, a red

mushroom, and a green mushroom. Power-up room! Hallelujah! I poceted all these items. I did not want to use

anything yet. I did not know how I would, anyway. Maybe by eating them, I suppose?

A bit more content, I exited the first room and entered the second room. This time, it lead to a long, railed corridor. It

was a brighter room than the dungeon, and so I did not need my torch. However, I wanted to make use of everything.

That's my motto. That's how I lived. If I just dropped my torch, then I would be wasting precious fire. I would need it

where it would be necessary... as I wondered this, I looked down, and I was surprised.  
"What is that"  
"Some sort of ship..." (Don't panic. I'm still talking to myself. No strange person around me)  
But not just any ship - it was a ship with propellers, but one that sitll looked like one you could use in water. It was

completely made out of wood, and it was huge. About several thousand feet. Even the Queen Mary can't get that big.

What was more, it contained a ton of missile launchers. I supposed that that was the launcer for Bullet Bills. I was

astonished, but scared. Does anyone know how much murder that thing is capable of doing? And in fact, I just

realized that I was several hundred meters from the ground! Oh no. I'm afraid of heights. Please, anything but that.  
So, without looking down, I walked down the corridor, where I found a spiral staircase.  
"Hmmm"  
As I went down the staircase, I thought,  
"Somehow, I ended up in the Koopa Kingdom... which means that I can go to the Mushroom Kingdom once this is

done. Good. Now, if this is the Koopa Kingdom in Mario Brothers 3, this means one thing... that not only Bowser is in

here, but also the seven Koopalings. Hmmm. I wonder what they are really like"  
I exited the staircase, slowly, at the ground level. There were some Koopa constructers on sight, building the giant

ship that I saw from above. It was taller than any ship that I had ever seen. It looked big from above, but from below, it

looked even larger. From all the awe that I inspired, I nearly singed my hair on fire from the torch that I held on my hair.  
Anyway, if I were to get the keys and save Peach, along with the possible total destruction of the kingdom, I needed

to act smart and act fast.  
I looked at one of those constructers. It wore a green shell, with a hard helmet. A bit like the hammer brothers, but it

did not throw hammers as a profession - it used hammers as a profession. It seemed easy to beat them. Maybe I could

even disguise as them. Act as your own enemy. But I didn't want to act rash right away. Besides, I didn't know how a

constructor was really supposed to act or speak. I could easily get caught. Instead, I hid behind one of the nearby

crates that I found at the left to the exit of the staircase. It read: "Bob-ombs. Fragile. This side up. Store in cold and

damp places." I came up with a good idea.  
"How does a ship work?" I asked myself. "What does the ship run on? Fuel. Fuel that will burn, because that's how

you make energy, and without energy, you really can't run the turbines for this thing"  
I still had the torch. Excellent.  
"And being the Koopa Kingdom, there ought to be Bob-ombs, right"  
"Yeah... so I could get a bob-omb, and when I am burning all the fuel, I put a bob-omb in - and KABOOM"  
"It's that easy"  
"At least it would be easy if my only enemy were this ship"  
"But at least this will distract the guards for a while"  
"You're right"  
Unfortunately, I had to make a run for it. A Koopa constructer was coming my way. I dropped my torch and flipped

one box so that the lid would face my direction, carefully yet swiftly. I opened it. It was empty. I instantly pushed

myself into the box, and closed the lids quickly, just as the Koopa started to lift the boxes up.  
I hid in that big box for a long time. I always wondered how Mario and Luigi could fit into warp pipes - well, same as

this - I just needed to make myself a bit smaller. The brothers could do it by being hit by an enemy, but I was a real

person. I seemed to have more free will.  
I suddenly felt the box that I was in being lifted and being transported. Exactly where, I had no idea. But I did know

this. Since I felt turning right, then I felt some rhythmic vibration. And I heard an irritated voice.  
"Stupid staircase - why can't King Bowser install elevators"  
What? I was going back up! No, this is not what I expected. I expected to be transferred into the ship, not upstairs! I've

seen upstairs! I wanted to get out, but that would blow my cover, so I instead decided to wait and listen more.

Chapter 4: Head to Head, Shell to Shell The footsteps of the Koopa constructor sounded like it hit on rock, so I knew I was already at the back at the room

that I was in. And then, after some turning and my head becoming a bit dizzy, I heard some metal clashing.  
"Who are you?" This was a different voice, a much stricter, colder, and bolder voice. It sounded like a guard.  
"I am Koopa constructor #1123461 Koovin, also assistant director to the department of military explosives" Scientist?

Wow, this guy is smarter than I thought.  
"What is your purpose of visiting King Bowser?" What! I'm being sent to Bowser? In a crate that's supposed to be

filled with bob-ombs? Great. Not what I expected.  
"I am here to deliver him our latest prototype of bob-ombs, Codename Peach." Hehe. What, these bob-ombs are

supposed to be pink like her? Why Peach, of all names? For once, can't villians actually come up with fancier names?  
"Very well. You may enter"  
The supposedly heavy doors opened (or at least I thought they were heavy. That's what you expect out of a

monarch's door) and I worried. I was originally planning for a sabotage mission, not face-to-face combat. That would

hurt.  
This time, I heard a large, gargling voice. I suddenly thought of the sound that a spoon makes when being scratched

to a metal tray. Awful and shrilling. Not a pleasasnt, warm voice. I thought that this had to be Bowser.  
"What is it, Professor Koovin? Have you brought Peach?" I definitely thought that this wasn't the princess. If it were,

then I would have heard some woman trying to let free of her hold by some guard, but I heard only this Koovin person

- pardon me - koopa's footsteps. Nope. Codename Peach must be some big bomb.  
"Yes, your highness"  
"Professor Koovin, please tell about Codename Peach"  
So Bowser did address his minions properly. Or at least those who can help him in weapons.  
Professor Koovin spoke. "Our latest model, Bob-omb version 5.3, now includes all the usual features - 0.3 inch

machine gun, with 60 shots a minute, rocket launchers, improved AI, programmable, and self destruction when an

enemy approaches within a proximity of 1 meter. Now includes two standard mustard gas packets, with a range of 5

meters." Professor Koovin said this, although not in a very patriotic voice. He didn't even open the box.  
Now I know about bob-ombs. Nothing but little dynamite robots, waiting to explode. Made for war. Made without

emotion but with intelligence. I am so glad that I am human.  
"Do you think that this will suit you, sir"  
"I want it better!" He was irritated. Uh-oh.  
"But sir, your majesty haven't even seen the demonstration yet. In fact, you have not even seen one single

demonstration ever since your majesty used version 1.1 onto the Mario brothers to kidnap the princess"  
"But I want it to be better! It should be good enough so that I would only one to defeat the Mario brothers once and

for all"  
"But you haven't even raised our pay sir! We worked 15 hours a day, under constant guardiance and tyanny. We work

7 days a week, and all days of the year, even during holidays. We get almost minimal food and a pay of only 200 coins.

I have been in this dump for five years! If we had better conditions, we would have created your dream toy a long time

ago! But what do you do? Instead, you starve us, underpay us, treat us like slaves. I do not care anymore about your

war, or the Mushroom Kingdom, or the Koopa Kingdom, or any technology to kill koopas and people! That's it, I am

going home - and I will not return!" Koovin ended his fiery speech against the king of all Koopas.  
That shocked me. I knew that Bowser was a mean, big turtle, but not all koopas were bad. Here was a koopa who

actually could start a revolution against King Bowser, one who was capable to. And he had the brains to do it. Go,

Koovin!  
But even so, Bowser did not even speak an inch of sympathy. "Silence, you blue-shelled ingrate"  
"We have our own thoughts, sir"  
"What do you mean, we"  
"The entire research department"  
"That's it, you're fired"  
"No I'm not"  
"What"  
"I resign"  
"No, I fire you"  
"No, I resign from this post to take a new position at Koopa Electronics, Inc. I'm sure they will treat me like a real

koopa"  
And Kooper lifted me back up. But then I heard some fire.  
"King Bowser!" Koovin shouted.  
"I don't care about you, but maybe I will with my weapons"  
"Yours, sir"  
"Now give me that box!" Oh no.  
"And I do not, sir"  
"Then I'll burn you"  
"Fine! Make me"  
And before I knew it, Bowser seemed to produce a fireball, because I heard the sound of something burning. Then,

without warning, it came closer at a scary rate. I could hear it coming closer. Maybe this fireball was just chucked by

Koovin. Koovin ducked, and spun away. The sudden rotation of the box that I was in made me sick. Suddenly, it hit

the floor.  
"Ow!" I screamed.  
And then everthing stopped.  
I blew my cover.  
"What? Who just screamed?" Kooper said.  
Then, I heard a tremendously loud footstep, and then another. A large claw penetrated through the box and opened

the lid. I came out.  
Bowser did not know what to say, but his eyes were large. His mouth was ajar. So was Kooper's. I opened my mouth

and spoke a faint whisper.  
"Hello."

Ooh! Cliffhanger... 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Enter Kevin Poppins I calmed myself, though without showing it. Many movie characters would just show it, but I didn't I knew better.  
"How do you do, sir"  
Bowser did not move. He still held the box that I was in. Good.  
"Kevin Poppins from the Mushroom Kingdom, at your service. Originally, Princess Peach ousted me from her kingdom

- or should I say, principality - because she thought I committed some treason. 'Well then', I thought, 'I might as well

do just that!' And so, I hid in a box so that I would come in easily. As you have seen, you have not noticed that I was

in the box. I am good at caretaking and espionage, and with a pay of 10,000 coins a week, I think that I can do just what

you want. Start with taking care of your children. I will require my own room and privacy in the castle, but otherwise, I

firmly believe that I will be fine. Any questions"  
I just pulled that all out of my mind, without any stopping. I sounded like a salesman. But what a tremendous lie. My

last name isn't even Poppins. And if he did accept me, what a great one. I felt like a con man who just sold the Statue of

Liberty.  
"Hello? Am I talking to a statue? Well, at least you could have told me"  
"What can you do?" Bowser finally spoke, returning to his evil pose.  
"I told you. Espionage and caretaking, although I think that caretaking will be fine enough. If you want me to, I might

as well work as a spy for you to the Mushroom Kingdom. As you can see, I am human. I could easily pass through"  
"I don't need spies. The Koopa Kingdom doesn't need spies - it needs power! But I could use a caretaker for my

children"  
"What may be the problem"  
"Well, ever since their mother died..." Bowser stopped.  
"Mother? Who was their mother?" I tried to sound as innocent as possible.  
"You don't need to know"  
"Oh, I'm sorry"  
"Anyway, they are just brats. I have to tell you. They already failed me to defeat my enemies, the plumbers, and I need

some counsel for them. You're just the type of person that I need. You're hired! 20,000 coins a week"  
He doubled my proposed pay. Koovin could not believe what he has heard. But I was glad. Somehow, I instantly had

the king's approval. Amazing. All by just hiding in a box. Suddenly, a koopa barged through the door.  
"Sir! Terrible trouble in construction dock #1"  
"What is it"  
"There's a giant fire going on"  
"What"  
"And it's burning our ship"  
"All right," he turned to me, "the guard will show you where the Koopalings' rooms are. Kooplite! Show him." And he

hurriedly ran out of his throne room. It shook the nearby walls. How they could stand, I had no idea.  
"So, Mr. Kooplite, can you show me where the princes live"  
"Six princes and one princess"  
"Oh, that's nice." Of course I knew that. But I wouldn't tell him. I wanted to sound as if I was starting anew, from a

clean slate - I might actually get to know them better"  
I turned to Professor Koovin. He was confused, but mostly of all, dazed at me.  
"Well, see you, Professor Koovin"  
"See you, child"  
I paused.  
"See you soon." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Koopa Kindergarten Kooplite took me to a brighter part of the kingdom. By brighter, I meant better lit. It still was dark.  
"Does this castle have any windows'  
"No windows"  
"Do you even see sunlight"  
"Not at all"  
"And where exactly is this castle located"  
"Where do you think"  
"Sorry, I was in a box the whole time"  
"Yet you walk well"  
"Well, I eat green vegetables"  
"You are in Dark Land, the center of the Koopa Kingdom"  
"Oh. Nice"  
We didn't talk much after that. He still had his spear. I didn't want to get myself into more trouble. But at the same time,

I was going to get to know these little turtles. Mischevious, but might come to some practical use.

"Here you are. The royal bedrooms are through at those seven doors, and the center one leads to their play room. I will

leave you here"  
"Thank you. Uh, Mr. Kooplite"  
"Yes, Mr. Poppins"  
"How does the king treat you? Nicely"  
"I should say so. Good pay, nice uniform, tasty food... but..." he closed into my ear, and whispered.  
"I think he's going to marry a human. There are rumours about it"  
"Who"  
"Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom"  
"What? She's here?" I pretended to be surprised. "Oh good. I may visit her time to time to annoy her for what she did

to me. But why are you whispering about this if everybody knows"  
"He doens't want us to know this because he thinks that this is treason. But the truth is everyone knows about this.

Whoever knows about this could be punished to death"  
"Oh. I will take caution." I said.  
I thanked the Koopa, what I hoped the first time and last time that I will do in my life, and walked into the play room.  
The play room was, surprisingly enough, colorful for such a dark castle. It was even warm. There were sounds of

someone yelling and seven children screaming. As I looked straight ahead, I saw seven small-sized koopas, though

comparable to the normal koopas, looking at me.  
"Oh." I paused. They saw me as if I did something revolting. "I am your new caretaker, Kevin"  
"Hi, Kevin, you jerk." The tallest of them spoke. He had blue, ugly hair.  
"I heard that, Ludwig von Koopa." I snapped at him.  
"How do you know my name"  
"Oh come on, your daddy told me, you jerk. In fact, I probably know all your names... now let's see... You, with the bow

on your head, the bracelets and silly lipstick and highheels, you must be Wendy O... What does O. stand for"  
"None of your business." "All right then, I just hurt your reputation. Now, you, the dark one with the star tattoo on your eye "  
"It's not a tattoo, bozo, this is how I was born! My name is Morton Koopa, Jr"  
"Of course. Named after who? Your granddaddy? Of course, I suppose your grandfather was a big blubbermouth as

well." Morton winced. "And you, the gay-looking one with the silly shades, you must be Roy"  
"You betcha!" Roy shouted loudly.  
"Brats... your dad is right, you are brats. And you two with the multi-colored hair, you two must be Iggy and Lemmy"  
"Lemmy and Iggy"  
"Whatever, Iggy and Lemmy. And you..." I turned to the only Koopaling that I haven't seen yet. He also had blue hair,

although somewhat more organized than Ludwig's. "You're... Harry?" I knew he was Larry.  
"Larry"  
"Whatever, Harry." I liked to make fun of Larry. He's the youngest and easiest to beat in the games. In fact, I just

insulted the entire Koopa family. If Bowser knew this, he could have killed me. But as children, they didn't care. Good.

They're born to be spoiled and powerful. This only made things easier to unleash my master plan.  
"Now, your father told me that you seven were completely spoilt. You children are mere clams trying to stop a lobster

invasion from the Mario Brothers"  
"Since when did clams and lobsters fit into this?" asked Larry.  
"It's a metaphor, you dingo." I told him back. He looked confused. Oh god.  
"So he tells me to beef you children up"  
"Beef us up?" asked Larry.  
"Larry, will you please be quiet? Same with you, Roy." I caught Roy trying to say something. He looked insulted.  
"Now, first of all, you need to work out, all according to my own training back in the Mushroom Kingdom. Second of

all, you need to learn how to behave better as Koopas. You all are just a pathetic bunch. If your lives were a comedy

show, your days would be shown live on television, and you really won't need all this war business to become rich

and powerful. But since you do"  
"You're from the Mushroom Kingdom?" asked Larry.  
"Ask your daddy"  
"Don't say daddy! He is the king of all Koopas"  
"Who's your daddy?" I torted back. "So, children, push-ups"  
"What!" The seven Koopa kids shouted.  
"Push-ups! Oh come on, now, you do know what a push-up is, don't you"  
"Hey! This is unfair"  
"I am your caretaker! Now shut up and get to it before I bring daddy on, and I'm sure he will like to smoke some shelled

brat"  
Morton tried to charge at me, but I was quicker. I grabbed a wooden pole nearby, dodged, and used it to whack his

knees. He flipped over and fell down with a THUD to the ground. He looked hurt.  
"See? If you don't listen to me, pain will follow. Now, push-ups! Morton, you go there, next to Ludwig... I want 50!

Without complaining or any sort of grueling! Come on, what are you waiting for"  
The turtles got down and started push-ups. Since they rarely exercised, they had a hard time getting to 5. Finally, after

an hour of waiting, they finished.  
"Can we rest now?" Iggy huffed.  
"You've got to be faster than that! Again! 50 push-ups"  
I was legally torturing the Koopa kids, and I neer had more fun in my life. Pardon my sick sense of entertainment, but

these brats deserve all that torture they would inflict to all the castle staff members.  
"Again!" I shouted.  
"Dinner!" A speaker shouted.  
The seven koopas finally got up and slumbered, slowly, to the dining room. I followed.  
"All right, you did horribly, children!" I shouted as we walked to the dining room. "When was the last time you

actually did some exercise"  
"When we had to fight Mario..." whimpered Lemmy.  
"Which was when"  
"Two years ago"  
"No wonder... you couch potatoes!"

Yeah, who thought of torturing those pesky turtles! 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Interlude And the days went by. Every day, I had to take care of the Koopas while Bowser was out for some business. At least

they did push-ups a bit better, and they could also do crunches better. The good thing was, I didn't practice them. I

also tried to read them literature, starting with the Flatland book that I had. It really came to be some help for them,

because before I arrived, they did not even know how to read (except for Ludwig and Iggy.  
On the seventh day, I received my 20,000 coins. It was a big bag, and not only did I wonder where Bowser gets all this

money, but also how I was going to carry it around me. So But the good thing was, these were genuine gold coins.

Even with one of these in the real world, and I could get myself a few hundred dollars. But, as I thought, I could not go

back to the real world. Besides, why would I? Nobody that I know really cared for me.  
One day, King Bowser had a private talk with me.  
"My children are complaining that you are torturing them"  
"Oh, they are still just little brats. I am giving them exercises and some teaching. They just never went through this

thing before, that's why. At least they will grow, both physically and maturely"  
"Well, at least you are a good mentor"  
"Thank you, sir"  
But I still did not forget my original purpose. That's why I taught them literature. What would happen if I taught them

martial arts or engineering? That wouldn't be very good to the Mario brothers, now would it?

I just needed a short interlude. Something to calm the piece down. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Second Time We Meet All this teaching really didn't give them anything useful, at least anything useful to beat up the Marios. Day by day,

Bowser kept me closer to his throne, and I became a favorite of his. It felt strange, and almost traitorous to do so, but

otherwise, I was fine.  
One day, after permission with Bowser, I came to the Koopa Kids, and said, "All right, children, I talked with your

daddy, and since you are doing so well (in reality, they weren't. They were still complaining), I will give you one day of

rest"  
"Really?" All of them asked enthusasticly.  
"Of course"  
They were surprised.  
"Would I lie to you"  
And off they went to the play room, wrecking almost everything in it. While they played and wrecked havoc, I tried to

find Bowser. I found him, with a key, heading for the dungeons.  
"Uh, sir"  
Bowser nearly jumped.  
"Kevin! It's you, thank goodness... Why are you here"  
"We talked about this. I had a day off, remember"  
"Oh yes. I was just visiting my future fiancee, do you want to come"  
"Surely... your majesty"  
Awkward.  
I followed him to Peach's place. I expected her to be surprised. At least they fed her well. Bowser stopped in fron of

Peach's cell.  
"My beauty..." Yuck. I did not want to see this. "I have brought a nanny"  
Nanny? Now I'm a nanny? Like Mary Poppins?  
"For the last time, Bowser, I am not interested"  
"You will be. At least our marriage will not leave you taking care of my children. We will have more time together"  
Oh no. What will she say when she saw me? But Bowser pulled me with his enormous hand.  
"Hello...Princess"  
Her eyes became large. If I were her, I would be surprised, too. I'm supposed to save her, and instead I was a nanny for

her enemy. Spiffing.  
"What is wrong, my dear"  
I cut in. "I think that she is surprised that you have me as a nanny. So, you're marrying her, right"  
"Yes. Three days from now"  
Peach almost squeaked. So did I.  
"Well, congratulations!" I falsely congratulated him.  
"Bowser, will you please excuse us?" Peach asked.  
"Who?" The enormous spiky turtle answered.  
"The nanny and I"  
"Of course, my dear"  
He went back up to see, saying that he needed to see the repair work on the ship that I accidentally burnt.  
When we heard him go away, she pulled me in the collar.  
"What is going on"  
"Uh, your highness, I can explain"  
"You're a two-timer, aren't you"  
"No. No. Really. Let me speak, please"  
She let go of me.  
"Princess, don't you realize? I made myself a spy for the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario and Luigi may be your knights in

shining armor, but I am doing my best to wreck down the conditions for them to enter"  
"How?" She whispered.  
And then I whispered...

It was night again. I entered the play room again.  
"Has your daddy passed by?" I asked the children.  
"Not at all. Why is he never here?" Morton asked. Roy came up to me as well.  
"Excuse me, I need to sneeze..." And I covered my mouth. But really, I was doing something else. After staying alone

with these brats, I practiced every one's voice. Especially Roy's.  
"Since he's busy, you silly twit." I said, disguising my voice as Roy's.  
Morton was pissed off.  
"Did you just call me 'silly twit'?" He asked.  
"No I didn't." Roy answered back.  
"Uh, children..." I pretended to stop them from fighting.  
But it was too late. It was too late to change anything, as I planned. These brats were pissed off. And when they were

pissed off, they fought.  
The two princes fought nearly to the death. Then, the door swung open, grazing me in the hair. King Bowser shouted

in his loud voice.  
"All right, what's going on"  
"Pardon us, your majesty, but it looks like Morton and Roy are fighting for a simple issue"  
"Morton! Roy! How many times did I tell you to stop fighting, you idiots"  
Now they looked pissed off.  
"All right, Kevin, if they are fighting again, bring them to me. It's time that I dealt with them"  
I nodded, and he closed the door.  
Good. Two koopalings against each other. Just the thing that I wished for. The only thing that I needed to do was to

only to only worsen their relationship. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Betrayal!  
With all my telling, I almost forgot to talk about the architecture of the castle. Bowser's castle is covered by a moat of

hot lava, as you would expect, and is 5 stories tall. The first two stories are mainly weapon construction and research,

economy, and military plannig, where Koovin once worked for. A sublevel exists between the second and third as a

dungeon, where Princess Peach is captured. The third floor comprises of the great hall, dining room, and kitchens for

all the koopas. The fourth floor was Bowser's private residence, and the fifth floor was the koopalings' private

residences. Above the fifth floor is, as you expect, the observatory and fortress, where some Koopas would stay and

guard the castle, alert koopas in the lower levels, maintain security, stuff like that.  
A few hours after Roy and Morton's fight, I walked up, first, to Morton's bedroom. I knocked at his door.  
"Sorry to bother you. There's just something that I want to talk to you about." I asked him when he opened the door.  
"Sure." Morton said.  
The good thing was that I also got the koopalings' trust. That's what I wished to hold, and I had it. But I wasn't going

to keep that trust for long.  
"Morton." I talked to him, sitting on his bed with him. "How do you feel"  
"Fine." He said. "I hurt in the chest, though"  
"No, no. What I meant was, how do you feel about Roy calling you that"  
"Not fine"  
"Exactly. In fact, your father, the King, is getting old, you know"  
"Yeah"  
"I think that's why he wants to marry again. He wants a mother for you guys. Some guardian who will love you guys.

But the problem is that the guardian is going to be... do you know"  
"Princess Peach"  
"Yeah. Do you think she will like you guys"  
"Ummm"  
"I think not really. After all, if somebody kidnaps you, you won't like him and his family, right"  
"Yes"  
"And your dad will sooner or later find an heir to his throne"  
"But he's not that old yet"  
"But your dad always get beaten by the Mario Brothers, right"  
"Yes"  
"What if the Mario Brothers do more than just beating him"  
"What do you mean? Do you mean... what if they... kill him?" He was starting to cry. I didn't mean to do this bad.  
"No... don't cry. You're a man! You can't just cry like a baby"  
"But it's a sad thought"  
"I never thought you actually had a soft side"  
He wept. I spoke.  
"So what happens - oh stop crying, you look like a baby - when there needs to be a new king"  
"Why"  
"According to law, it's going to be Ludwig. Ludwig, king of all koopas. And you still will be somewhere down the line

to take the throne, but not even next to line. How are you going to feel? After all, Roy is closer to Ludwig than to

you"  
"Yes"  
"So what happens when Ludwig, the future king, and Roy, join together to oust you? Banish you? ... Kill you"  
"That won't do!" He suddenly stopped crying.  
"Good. Now, how will you be king"  
"How"  
"Well, let's see. The only way of becoming king is if there is no other person closer to the throne. That's what you

have to do if you want to be king. Eliminate anyone closer to the throne than you are"  
"Really"  
"Really. You're not going to let Roy become closer to Ludwig or become king himself, now do you"  
"No, not at all"  
"Good. What do you need to do"  
"Kill everyone closer to him"  
"And just to make sure that no one kills you"  
"Kill all of my brothers and sister"  
"Yup"  
He looked a bit shocked.  
"I know it's a bit scary. I would be. But remember, this is for your future, future king! You will succeed! Believe me!

And if you are going to do this job well, you will need to organize your own army. After all, who knows? Maybe Roy is

doing the same"  
"You're right"  
"Good. And I suggest that you do it quick. After all, you never know if Ludwig or Roy himself is organizing his own

army to kill you... even your father"  
So, now you know what to do, so go do it"  
A heavy quote. But you see where I am getting at?  
"Surely. I will call the koopas in my castle"  
I turned to leave the room.  
"Hey Kevin." Said Morton.  
"What is it"  
"Thanks"  
"You're welcome"  
It felt strange. Koopalings being nice - who would have ever thought?  
"Now, I'll go to Roy to tell him to calm down. He'll never know"  
The truth was, everybody would know. And everybody would organize his or her own army. And everybody would

wage into war.  
I repeated the process for each of the koopalings, using Roy and Morton's fight as an example. Then I went back to my

bedroom. It was getting too late, I needed to go to bed. 


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Welcome Home I was in my own bedroom. I was about to go to bed, when I heard some strange crashing sound. I looked up and saw

that the ceiling was making that strange noise. I looked up. Uh-oh... But I did hear some muffled voicesof two adults

talking to each other.  
"All right, brother, now, let's do that again. The better the timing, the better the effect"  
"Surely"  
And the noise came again. And again. Some small pebbles from the ceiling started falling down. The noise came again.

The ceiling shaked even more. Finally, a single block of rock from the ceiling finally broke, and showered my room with

broken, sharp rock pieces. One nearly hit me in the legs, but I dodged that just in time, now to see two men falling on

me.  
"Nice landing"  
"Oh... I don't know... where are we"  
I looked up and finally realized who tried to break through my ceiling. The two wore shirts, gloves, blue overalls, and a

hat. The taller one wore a green shirt and cap with an L, and the shorter one wore a red shirt and cap with an M. They

also had round noses and a large moustache. I recognized who they were.  
"Mario! Luigi"  
"Yes, those are our names, but how did you know?" Luigi asked.  
"Doesn't matter. I'm Kevin, nanny to the Koopalings." And I tried to shake their hand.  
Whoops. Shouldn't have said that. Before I knew, Mario fired a fireball at me, and Luigi whacked me with a frog suit.

Goodness, that hurt. But I didn't pass out.  
"Wait! Wait! I can explain"  
They stopped.  
"What? You're with Bowser!" Mario shouted.  
"I'm pretending to! And will you calm down, you'll wake them up"  
"Who"  
"The Koopalings! And don't disturb them anyway"  
WHACK! Another hit with the frog suit.  
"You don't need to fight them"  
"Why?" Mario was angry, and he hit me with a fireball again. I never should have said that. But since I saw so many

koopas every day, that's what I was used to.  
"Oh, thank you... I'll explain everything. I am acting as caretaker to the Koopalings, but really, I know about Princess

Peach. I also am here, but as a spy for you two just in case you'd come"  
I told them the entire story, about how I came, what I did to separate the Kooaplings, and Codename Peach.  
"So you mean, the Koopalings will wage war onto themselves?" Luigi spoke.  
"Yes! They better be! They were convinced by me! And that's why we can't do it today. If we were to do it tomorrow,

when the planned civil war starts, then we can escape with the princess and hope that the Koopa Kingdom gets

destroyed in the process"  
"Oh." They sighed in unison.  
"You'll need somewhere to spend the night, though... That way, we can maximize the effects"  
The three of us looked around. "Guess the only place to sleep without being noticed is under the bed." Mario said.  
"You sure"  
"Yes"  
"All right"  
It was hard for the two of them to be under my bed, especially because Luigi was too tall to be under the bed and

Mario was too fat. But, they chose to do this. I won't stop their decision.  
"Good night." I said. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: Back to the first mission I woke up with a bob-omb ticking in my bed.  
"Wha... what"  
I grabbed my glasses. Fortunately, it did not realize that the Mario Brothers was close to him. Hehe! Easy AI. This is

still a game. And since I was a close friend of the King, it did not shoot anyone in the room. I carefully took the bob-

omb on my bed, blindfolded it with a part of my bedsheet which I ripped off, and woke the brothers up.  
"Mario! Luigi! Quick! Wake up"  
"What is it?" Mario asked, in a tired voice.  
"Quiet. I have a Bob-omb in my room, and I'm afraid it might explode if it notices you two are here"  
"Oh dear"  
"Oh dear indeed. But I know the mechanics of this bob-omb, and... allow me."

Meanwhile, I heard rapid footsteps to my room.  
"Quick! Back under the bed"  
They did just as the door opened.  
"Sir! Quick! You have to leave here"  
"What is it, guard?" I asked him, pretending to be innocent and unknowing.  
"All the six princes and princess declared war on each other! It's a civil war"  
Yes... just what I planned.  
"Is the king fine?" I asked him, now pretending to be surprised.  
"No sir, in fact, he is heavily wounded by soldiers from all the princes and the princess. That's why he also declared

war into this"  
"Whose side are you on"  
"King Bowser's side, of course. That's why I came to warn you, sir! You need to leave quickly before anyone comes to

attack us"  
"All right"  
But the guard's eyes opened wide at the sight of my bed.  
"Sir, that's a bob-omb, it's dangerous if it explodes"  
"Oh dear! How did it end up on my bed! I'll need to carry it out"  
Carefully, I lifted the bob-omb, and then gave him the bob-omb.  
"Sir! Pardon me, but to be honest, I do not want this"  
"Well, too bad!" I shouted, and punched the guard koopa in the face, then kneed him in the torso, and jumped on him.

This time, he reduced into a single shell, and I also caught the bob-omb just in time.  
"Mario! Luigi! Now get out! I'm considered an enemy of all eight of the big koopas!" 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: The Rescue "This way!" I lead the Marios into Peach's dungeon. Of course, as we passed through, we saw koopas of all different

colors, fighting each other. With the shell that I acquired from the guard, I fired it, bouncing it to the walls and

eliminating a majority of them to shells. When we were finished, Mario jumped on the shell to stop it, and carried it

again.  
We came to the dungeon. I rummaged through my pockets. I didn't have the key, and I wasn't going to visit Bowser for

one, but I did remember the items in my pockets. I pulled out my fire flower.  
"Now how do I use it?" I asked.  
"You eat it." Mario said.  
"All right... now how do I emit a fireball?" I asked again as we arrived to Peach's cell.  
The pink princess was tired, but she was very ecstastic to see all three of us.  
"Oh, Mario, Luigi, you came to save me!" She yelled, and gave Mario a kiss. A deep one. And then she turned to me.  
"And thanks to you too. I shall be forever gracious for you"  
"Thank you, princess. However, we haven't a lot of time. We have to run"  
I ate the fire flower, as Mario told me, and felt my body changing. It felt strange, but I found my blue shirt turning to

white, and beige trousers turning to blue.  
"The fire flower works on him!" Luigi shouted.  
"Good!" Mario said. "Now, open your hand - not to my direction! - to emit one"  
I had to pose as if I was spreading seeds with my hands, and suddenly, a fireball came out. Cool!

Very short chapter. Some more chapters to go... 


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Escape "Which way now?" The recently saved princess asked.  
"Let's go to the top to avoid all this. The ground level should be very filled up"  
So back we went up, through the third, fourth, and fifth stories. We went up to the ceiling, only to find more koopas

fighting. Thanks to my fireballs and the stray shells, We eliminated most of the competition. Or at least it looked like it.  
The ship that I saw was repaired ever since I accidentally burnt it with my torch, and it was taking off. So that

explained all the propellers - this was not just any ship, this was an airship!  
"It's taking off!" I shouted.  
"Let me catch onto him!" Mario said.  
Mario ran to Luigi, who then jumped onto his hands. Luigi then lifted Mario up, which sent him flying up to the

aircraft. He held onto the railings of ship. Luigi followed and grabbed his leg. Then I jumped and did the same.  
"Princess, quick!" I shouted. She finally clung onto my leg.  
"Hurry, Mario, before I lose my grip!" Luigi said.  
Suddenly, we felt an abrupt turn.  
"Aaaah!" We four shouted, and I nearly lost my grip on Luigi's leg.  
The aircraft landed again, and Mario let go before he could have been squished.  
"What's going on? Why did it stop?" The princess asked.  
"I don't know." Luigi said.  
"We better go into that ship right now!" I shouted.  
The four of us tried to find an entrance to the ship, but when we were doing so, we saw another figure coming up the

staircase from the fifth floor. It was none other than Bowser, hurriedly running to the ship.  
"Get out! This is my ship!" He shouted, then stopped to see the Mario brothers. "Marios! You'll pay for this"  
"We didn't do anything!" They shouted.  
Then the king looked at me. Ouch.  
"Kevin! What are you doing with the Marios"  
"You thought I was loyal to you!" I shouted back. "Unfortunately, you big, fat, ugly turtle, I need to go. I was loyal

to the Mushroom Kingdom, not you. I even started this war! Good luck! Hope someone shells you!" And I used my

fireballs. It didn't hurt him, but it did send him back a few meters. While that happened, Luigi jumped to the top of the

aircraft. Mario grabbed the princess and did the same. Then I grabbed my racoon suit, and hit him with my tail.

Suddenly, I realized that I could fly.  
"Jump, Kevin!" The princess shouted.  
"Watch out!" I shouted back.  
I had reason to do so. The ship, as I told, was covered with firing mechanisms. A flamethrower suddenly activated and

nearly burnt my companions, if it were not for Mario kicking it the other way around, instead melting the fence of the

ship.  
Then, out of another cannon, a bullet bill fired. This time, Luigi jumped over it, which stopped the bullet dead on the

ground.  
"Give me the bullet!" I shouted. Luigi did and then I chucked it to an angry and betrayed Bowser who tried to climb up

to the ship. It hit him in the eye.  
"Ow! You brat! You're going to pay for it"  
"Yeah right!" I shouted, and stepped on his left hand, holding onto the fence for dear life.  
The aircraft started to take off again, and now there was no way of Bowser clinging on any longer. I was about to step

on his right hand to finish him off when I was suddenly hit by a bullet bill.  
"Ow!" I shouted, as I had to lose my racoon suit. I was reduced to normal Kevin.  
"Serves you right!" He shouted.  
Then the ship gave a sudden jolt, and everyone yelled as they were lifted up to the air a few feet. So was I. And my

camera from my trousers fell off!  
When we all landed on the ship, my camera started sliding away. A flamethrower was going to be in my way, but I

didn't care. I took out some item from my pockets, ate it, and without knowing what I did, I lunged for the camera. But

as I expected, the flamethrower activated right at my face as I grabbed my camera in time.  
However, I did not get hurt. I wondered what happened, when I suddenly realized that I was glowing. I ate a starman!  
"What!" Bowser shouted. But it was too late for him. I grabbed my camera, turned it on, and took a picture of him. The

flash winked.  
"Bowser!" I shouted. "Justice breathes"  
"Argh! My eyes!" He shouted as he tried to cover his eyes. But in doing so, he let go of the railings. He covered his

eyes, and eventually he realized that he was falling down at least a few hundred meters. Down he went, down, down,

down.  
"Yes!" I shouted. I was still glowing.  
"Mario! Luigi! Princess!" I shouted, grabbing them from a bullet bill which couldn't penetrate through me. Then, the

ship started leaning downward, and we slid down to the prow of the ship.  
Somebody left the entrance open. We all entered into it.

Thrilling, eh? 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: The Escape 2: How It All Ended We ended up in a room with bluish walls and windows.  
"What happened?" Mario shouted.  
"I kicked Bowser off the ship. And with the Koopalings in war with each, as I and the guard told you, I think that

destroying the castle shouldn't be a problem. In fact, this will mean tons of danger in the kingdom for a while... Oh, the

starman isn't working anymore"  
The plumbers and the princess were amazed.  
"So Bowser is gone?"The princess asked.  
"I suppose so"  
After a while, we all started shouting. We were ecstastic. Not only was the princess rescued, but Bowser should be

dead by now, and his kingdom and castle was to be destroyed completely by this war.  
But we still needed to destroy this ship that we were in and get out.  
"There must be koopas that run this ship, right?" I asked.  
"Yes." Said Mario. Then, he suddenly darted for the door. We followed, although it was hard to since the ship was

tumbling in the air.  
We passed through the narrow corridor, with Mario at front, Luigi second, the princess third, and I at the last. So this

is what the ship looked like from the inside... large, blue, and hot. Strangely enough, we did not see many koopas on

the way. I supposed that they had to leave to join the war.  
After a few minutes, we managed to enter the pilot's compartment.  
"Allow me." I said.  
I opened the door, quietly so that the staff of the ship wouldn't notice. I crept up to the pilot's room. There were, in

fact, only two koopas at the front, and none at the back. I was surprised. Only two koopas in the entire ship? It's this

vacant?  
I crept up to one of them. But what was I to hit them with? I used my fire flower, racoon suit, and starman. The red leaf

- I didn't know about it. It just didn't appeal to me much. I had the frog suit, though.  
I backed out, took some of the real world money that I had. Luckily, most of them were coins. As I was trying to take

out the change, they made a loud noise in the silent compartment.  
"Who's there"  
The two pilot koopas looked back. Oh no. Blew it again. But I knew what to do.  
With all my strength, I threw the change at one of the koopas, which hit him . Then, I ran to the other koopa, and put

the frog suit over his face. That way, he couldn't speak or breath. While I was trying to wrestle with one, the Mario

brothers came in and threw fireballs in the direction of the first pilot. However, he dodged, and it hit the control panel.  
The control panel started burning.  
"You fools! This leads directly to the fuel tank!" The pilot shouted. Meanwhile, Mario hit the pilot directly in the face,

and Luigi hit the other, which I was trying to choke and annoy, in the legs. I flipped over, and landed on him. The firt

pilot reduced into a shell, but the second koopa was still awake. He hit me in the stomach.  
"Oh...!" I whimpered. That hurt. Meanwhile, the koopa charged towards the Marios, revealing its true form. A hammer

brother. Ouch, that could hurt. What's more, he was loaded with hammers.  
Mario and Luigi decided to retreat, but the hammer brother charged and started throwing hammers. We did not know

how to beat him.  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a frying pan appeared, hit a hammer much in the way that a tennis player would use his

racket to hit a ball, and sent the hammer flying to the koopa. In the end, the hammer brother was reduced to a suit. A

hammer brother's suit!  
"Where did the frying pan come from?" Luigi looked, surprised. So was I.  
"I knew that this was going to be a good weapon to keep." The princess said.  
"Princess! You hit that hammer?" I asked, astonished.  
"Yes." She answered, calmly.  
But our bliss lasted for only a little. The ship was sinking in the air at an even deadlier rate, and we needed to get out

of the ship.  
"How do we get out?" I asked.  
"We can climb back up to the exit, or..." Mario said.  
"Or just use the emergency exit!" Someone said.  
The door opened again to reveal a familiar face.  
"Professor Koovin!" I was shocked. How did he come in here?  
"Kevin?" He was equally shocked. "What a great surprise it is to see you again"  
"How did you come in here"  
"Ask questions later. Right now, we need to escape from here. Follow me, please"  
I grabbed the hammer brother's suit as I exited. We went up the corridor again, and turned left, where the big green

sign said "EXIT"  
"Now, there should be parachutes around here..." Koovin shouted through the sound of the aircraft falling through

the sky.  
"They're here!" Luigi said.  
But heavens forbid, there was only one. One parachute for five people. Not good. Suddenly, I thought of a good idea.

A red leaf! That will turn us into racoons, and thereby slowering our descent pattern.  
"Mario, do you have a red leaf"  
"I do, in fact. So does Luigi"  
"All right, so do I. People, this is how it works. Mario and Luigi, you two use the red leaf. I'll use my own and hold

onto Professor Koovin. Princess, do you know how to use a parachute"  
"Not really"  
"Oh dear. Does anyone else know how to use one"  
"No." They all said in unison.  
"Good. Then I'll use it. Mario, you can hold onto the princess since you're stronger, and Luigi, you can hold onto

Professor Koovin. We'll save one red leaf that way"  
Koovin opened the emergency exit.  
"Ready!" I shouted.  
"Sure!" Said the brothers, already in their racoon form.  
"Geromino!" I shouted, and dived first.  
It was a cool sensation. The air rushed through my face, and it had never been cooler. In fact, I never had a more

intense moment in my life. I flipped mid-air to see the rest diving from the ship. The ship, however, was not in good

form. In fact, it was heading for a large lake. But in front of the lake, I realized, was a gray castle, though lighter than

Bowser's, with red, flat roofs and at the center tower, was a large piece of stained glass. Princess Peach's castle!  
"That's Lake Mushroom!" Princess Peach shouted. "It's going to crash"  
So, here I was in the sky. My original plans of sabotaging the ship did not work, and in fact, I never even executed

them, but it worked anyway. The ship was destroyed.  
I still thought of those koopas, fighting against each other in what possibly was the largest civil war I have ever seen.

All eight sides fighting against each other... who could have thought?  
I opened my parachute, and saw the others descend slowly in the air. We all aimed for as close as the princess's castle

as possible.  
Mario landed first with the princess, along with Luigi with Professor Koovin. I landed last, to a skidding halt on the

ground.  
We were all happy.  
"We did it!" shouted Luigi.  
"Ha ha!" shouted Mario.  
"We survievd!" shouted Peach.  
"Gosh, that was close though!" shouted Koovin.  
"I'm so glad that I'm free!" shouted I.  
And only a few seconds later,  
CRASH.  
The ship crashed into the lake, and it caused a tidal wave, no, not that, more like a tsunami, across the lake. Man, this

was not a pretty sight.  
"Run!" I said.  
The water reached the shore and finally swept in front of us. Then, the wave died. We were happy one moment, and

now we were wet.  
"Whoa!" I finally shouted. "We're wet! But at least we're safe"  
And then there was silence.  
"And that was the most thrilling moment of my life!" Then I saw that I was getting excited again. "Princess, are you all

right"  
"Yes, I am fine, although I am wet"  
"Everyone are!" said Mario.  
We all laughed and walked back to the castle.

At least I'm alive... That's good! 


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Epilogue: Reflections Since I and Professor Koovin were newcomers to the castle, we had to sleep in the guest rooms, which were still nice. We stood at the front of the castle, looking at the ugly wreck that stood in the lake.  
"So, is the ship going to be dismantled?" I asked.  
"I'm afraid so." said Professor Koovin. "Good thing, isn't it"  
"How did you know about the emergency exit though, professor?" I asked again.  
"How do you think? I designed that ship... though at first I did not think it was going to be a monster. But how did you - and he looked at me - think of the escape plan"  
"Just my quick thinking." I replied humbly.  
We didn't speak for a moment, and watched the Toads dismantling the ship. I offered help, since I felt like a lazy man just standing there, but they said that I was a special guest who should behonored for saving the princess, and told me to stay still.  
"War is a terrible thing, isn't it?" I said. "And all that is just caused by hate"  
"This ship, the Civil war..." said Koovin.  
"The war that I started." I finished.  
"You started it!" I saw that he was impressed, not angry.  
"Do you remember when we first met?" I said. "You were there, thinking that I was just a bunch of bob-ombs, and I became Bowser's children's caretaker"  
"Yes"  
"I turned them on each other. That's how I started this war: by hate. If they would have apologized, this would never have happened." I smiled, proud of myself. "That's how every war starts. If people would have apologized, wars would never happen." I didn't smile anymore, now ashamed of myself.  
I opened my mouth again. "Will you be going back home"  
Koovin answered. "No. In fact, I never had a home. I never even had family"  
"Professor Koovin! Sir Kevin!" Princess Peach called both of us.  
"Coming, princess!" I said.  
"Sir Kevin?" asked Koovin.  
"My new nickname." I beamed.

The princess, Mario, Luigi, Koovin and I had a tea party that afternoon. I've heard Mario and Luigi's story. As I've expected. How I would have gone through Super Mario Bros. 3.  
The princess was happy about the stories, as she drank her tea.  
"So, Sir Kevin, how did you come here?" She asked me.  
I didn't know where to start.  
"Well... I come from a different world, should I say. It's called New Jersey"  
Mario tapped to Luigi. "Hey, New Jersey! Isn't that close to where we used to live"  
"Sure, Mario, sure." Luigi said.  
"And somehow, and I still don't know why, but I came here. Then, I met the princess, told her that I would rescue her if I could. Although I couldn't promise what I said, what about taking the keys from Bowser "  
"You did in the end." She said. "And it's the thought that matters"  
"Thank you, your highness." I said.  
"Call me princess." She replied.  
"And from them, I hid in a box supposedly containing Bob-ombs," I continued,  
"Which I carried to Bowser himself," Koovin continued,  
"And became his temporary nanny." I continued. "Then, I urged the koopalings into war with each other, and now we're safe, and they're occupied"  
"How wonderful!" exclaimed Peach. "Thank you for saving me, Mario, Luigi, and you, Sir Kevin"  
"Call me Kevin." I replied.  
Now we all laughed. It was a beautiful, sunny day. The clouds were moving slowly through the sky, and the castle looked grander than ever.  
"So, Kevin..." she asked.  
"Yes, princess"  
"Are you planning to stay"  
"Well," I said. I didn't know why she asked that. "Well, since I came into this world, and consider how my life has been back in my world..." I came to a stop. Everyone were curious. They all leaned to me. "I suppose that I will stay." Everyone were relieved. "What about you, Professor"  
"So will I! I maybe a koopa, but with a country at war, I choose political refuge"  
"You both are welcome to stay." said the Princess.  
"A friendly koopa." I said.  
"He's not the first one." Mario said.  
"I know." I smiled.  
"Is anyone willing to play tennis?" said Luigi.  
The focus was now on the green plumber.  
"Are you kidding?" said Mario.  
"We've come through a long adventure!" said I.  
"And we've barely escaped danger!" continued Koovin.  
"But it is a lovely day..." said the Princess.  
That we could not object.  
Then, Mario jumped and shouted, "Here we go!"

THE END

Disclaimer: Sorry! I nearly forgot this... sorry to those who were confused.  
Every character, place and concept except Koovin, Kooplite, Codename Peach (The Bob-omb project), the architecture of Koopa Castle, Mushroom Lake and (last but not least) I belong to Nintendo and do not belong to me.

Whew! My first fan-fic... I hope you liked it.  
Stay online for more episodes of the "Kevin's Mushroom Diaries" series! 


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